The Hatfield-McCoy feud, which has been used for over 100 years to allude to the most bitter of disputes, is making its way up the Big Sandy River (a tributary of the Ohio) to unleash its wrath on modern-day Pittsburgh. Executive Producer Charlize Theron is working on the pilot, which as far as we know will be called “Hatfields & McCoys.”
Set in present-day Pittsburgh, the drama begins when a startling death reignites the legendary feud between the families. Unleashing decades of resentment, the blue-collar McCoys will put the Hatfields’ wealth and power at risk as they go to war for control of the city.
The pilot will be written by John Glenn (“Eagle Eye,” 2008 and the upcoming “Warriors”) but the specifics of the individual stories are still unknown. But as a Pittsburgh-based studio with roots in the area, we’d like to posit some plotlines the show should address:
Idea 1: The wealthy Hatfields try to sink the blue-collar McCoys by using their powerful Eat’n Park-chain to buy up and destroy all of the McCoys Kings Family restaurant franchises. The Kittanning King’s and Natrona Heights Eat’n Park restaurants wage war along Route 28, leaving the icing of thousands of wounded Frownie Brownies and Smiley Cookies in their wake.
Idea 2: The Hatfields of 941 Penn Avenue cut off the supply of Primanti’s sandwiches running from Market Square to the McCoy’s South Side slopes split-level by taking control of the Smithfield Street Bridge. A battle ensues as a lack of soggy fries cripples the McCoy’s South Side-starch trade.
Idea 3: The Hatfields of the North Hills declare war on the McCoy’s of South Hills as the two families battle for market share of Stussy-hat sales between the PacSuns of Ross Park and South Hills Village malls, respectively. The dispute ends reasonably, as both parties realize customers want Ocean Pacific gear instead.
Idea 4: The Hatfields buy Sandcastle and the McCoys buy Kennywood. The two families wage a war across Homestead using bacteria-laden, blue-hued water from the Raging Rapids and bottom-shelf spiced rum from the Sandbar.
Idea 5: The Hatfields and McCoys both plan a hostile takeover of the Pittsburgh Pirates. The feud is squashed by the Nuttings.
The time-tested feud is in viewer demand as History’s six-hour miniseries “Hatfields & McCoys” (Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton) is rated the highest-rated mini series or movie on cable since 1998. So perhaps the Pittsburgh pilot has a good chance to be picked up. Here’s hoping.
Tweet us your ideas for Pittsburgh-based Hatfield-McCoy feud plotlines @NewShowStudios